Post Script to Back Against the Wall Post

This is a good idea of how I felt last night and on into this afternoon.  If y'all haven't read the first blog, here's the start of the story, this is the finale. 


http://mewsingsfromlowecat.blogspot.com/2014/12/when-my-back-is-against-wall.html



Welcome back.  So, this mornin' about 10AM, the HR rep called me, I had gotten maybe two hours of sleep at the most.  I didn't think to get the voice recorder on my Iphone goin' (he called my cell) so this is based on memory.  It turned out that he already had some kind of report from someone at work from that night.  Though he 'claimed' that it did not come from that supervisor and he had yet to talk to her, it appeared that he had already decided on her behalf, just the way he talked.  What was most interestin' is that he found nothing wrong with the supervisor in question forcin' her way into the break room to confront me durin' break.  


That in itself was scary, as was his focusin' on the goof I made in tryin' to enter that on call change for the client.  He was intent on the fact that I had made an error and she was doin' her job in pointin' it out to me.  Apparently using' a scornful tone of voice and the words 'messing around" are considered an acceptable way to talk to underlings in the presence of co workers.  Who knew?  

 The next red flag was his scornful admonishment about replyin' "The fuck I will!" when she told me to clock out.  Yes, that was wrong of me to say; but there was no acknowledgement of the inappropriate and deliberate goading that led up to the reply.  

I don't know about all y'all, but one of the biggest pet peeves is havin' people tell me what I'm thinkin'.  Even the husband doesn't pull that crap on me.  But here's this woman tellin' me she knew I would be abusive to the customers the rest of the night after she stated she knew I would be spreadin' gossip about her to others in the building.   Maybe her parents should've named her 'Miss Cleo' since she's such a psychic. 

He also took me to task for tellin' this supervisor that she was, in my personal opinion, a poor manager based on her lack of people skills.   Accordin' to him, I had no right to base expectations of a supervisor based on my own experiences as a middle manager and with other supervisors from past employment.  (I'm still tryin' to figure that one out).  

Anyway, the call ended with me in frustrated tears, in full PTSD melt down.  The investigator 'assured' me he would do a thorough investigation and talk with other witnesses.  Meantime, a call with the center manager was anticipated for sometime later that morning.  

Well, that call came at 11AM and lasted all of 45 seconds.  She told me to come to her office at 130, a half hour before the scheduled work shift to 'discuss' the incident.  


Since that was a change from what she'd stated the night before, the handwriting on the wall was literally shouting.  But, I made the effort to dress appropriately and get there for the meeting.  Just as I'm ready to go out the door, the land line goes off and the caller ID shows it's work.  Sure enough, it was the manager with the HR rep on conference.  This time, I had the voice memo ready and the call on speakerphone to better obtain the details.  

There was little preamble.  She announced that they had decided to proceed with termination due to the latest outburst on top of other previous confrontations with the supervisor.  

I laughed. 

It was not a joyful laugh, nor a laugh at a joke chuckle.  It was one of those derisive type of laughs you might see in the movies and tee vee.  She had no interest in getting my side - apparently she was relying on the HR investigator's findings.  


So I informed her that she could expect the key card back via certified mail, return receipt requested, and if anything was withheld from the final check for the key card, it would be disputed.  (This afternoon, I mailed both the corporate tee shirt they gave me <washed and folded> along with the key card.)

No letter, just the little green card with my return address on it and her name as the addressee.  Though it's supposed to be delivered Saturday, I don't expect it'll get signed for until Monday.  Even if someone else signs for it, the return card will be prof of receipt.  You're right, folks, I don't trust 'em.  

Then I informed her that she had disappointed me by reneging on her previous statement from the night before.  "I thought you would've at least asked me, even if you made the decision, that you would've asked me about what happened.  You obviously don't care.  If anyone were to ask me whether this is a good place to work, I would have to honestly tell them no, and why.  You and the HR Rep have a very Merry Christmas and a wonderful life.  Goodbye."  And I disconnected the call. There was nothing more to say and nothing more they could say. 


Moving on, I have filed a claim with unemployment compensation, and already have sent out 10 applications.  Have already received a request to take an on line test for somethin' that starts at the end of the year, closer to home and pays more.  We'll see what happens.  

Anyone that knows me well - or even if you don't know me well - is aware that I've battled depression and PTSD for years.  My doctor, thank God, helps me a lot with this, as she frequently adjusts the meds as needed.  The PTSD comes from an attack in the 1980s that resulted in 13 stitches to my neck and a later incident in 2004 in the workplace where a co worker tried to attack me.  While I wish that confrontation situations like the one last night and other ones with that supervisor weren't triggers for emotional outbursts like last night's, they invoke that 'fight or flight' response.  In my case, it's fightin' back with words instead of fists.  


I hold no ill will for the trainer that was caught up in the middle.  I'd like to think she gave her report as objectively as she could given the circumstances.  Nor do I hold ill will for the call center manager, with the exception of being disappointed in her.  At least she saved me the expense of drivin' all the way up there and back by terminatin' me over the phone.  

I do hold concerns over the behavior of that supervisor, and for the co workers left behind who know what she's like and have to continue to deal with her.  It appears (and we all know that perception is often a bit skewed at times because we don't know the whole story) that the woman has gotten off scot free in her own behavior and will continue to treat people the same way.  

It's fascinatin' that the entire call center speaks of this supervisor's lack of people skills, but nothin' has been done.  Maybe yours truly is the first person to call her out.  One thing about bein' up front and outspoken, I'll say to your face what I'll say behind your back . 


 The doctor has upped the depression meds a tad for the time bein'.  That will help.  What has helped more has been the outpourin' of support from friends and family.  Though the husband has his concerns about me postin' things like this on line; the benefits far outweigh the downfalls.  A former supervisor from years back posted extremely encouragin' words that lifted a great deal of weight from my shoulders. Thank all y'all for bein' there and carin', whether you posted anything or not.