Mewsings from Lowecat (aka Indianacat)

My rants, ravings, and overall 'mewsings' on life, the universe, and everything.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

It's Not Just the Cheatin' . . .

So, it's become national news, the former governator of California not only had extra marital sex with another woman, but he had such with a household staffer. The icing on this rather bitter cake is that he fathered a child with said staffer decades ago, and only just this year informed his wife.

No wonder Maria Shriver left the house!

Meanwhile, we can look forward to the pundits and the comedians tearing into this sad situation with relish and pitchforks. I'm willing to bet every single late night program from Letterman and Leno to Conan and George Lopez are going to lampoon the former bodybuilder to the point of nausea.

Adultery has been around for millinia, why the Hell do you think it's one of the ten 'Thou shalt not's" for cryin' out loud?

Speakin' as a woman, and a married one at that, I can relate to Ms. Shriver's pain. She promised in the marriage vows to forsake all others. So did Arnold. He broke that vow. Men and women break that promise for many reasons. Temptation is a devil; so far, only one being in history managed to put temptation behind him. He got crucified later on.

It's not the fact that her husband stuck his dick where it didn't belong that hurt her, though that's probably enough. It's the added burden of having the other part of the betrayal being part of the household staff and that he didn't bother to wear a raincoat (much less the other participant usin' some form of birth control, after all, it takes two to tango, y'know!).

The thing that Ms. Shriver might find most reprehensible of all is the shadow that loomed over most of their quarter century marriage in the form of a illegitmate child. A child that she only recently became aware of!

Some women can overlook the fact that their man might stray and accept that he'll have a one night stand or two along the way. Some can't deal with the idea at all. Some marriages are strong enough that if the man or woman has an affair, admits to it, and the couple seek counseling to work through the situation, they emerge stronger than ever. Some marriages never recover.

It's hard enough to find out your spouse has cheated. It's even harder to find out that there is a living reminder of that mistake in the world and has been around for years behind your back or under your nose.

That would really weaken anyone's faith, no matter how one looks at the story of the faith of the tiny mustard seed.

Faith is a funny thing. It can be stronger than steel, but also fragile as an egg. Women can be strong about a lot of things, but like anything else, a woman's will can be beaten down by the elements. Just like steady drops of water can damage a rock.

Ms. Shriver's faith in everything she knew about her husband has been shaken by this incident. What's worse, is that it's out in the public eye for everyone to comment upon. And they will comment.

"OK, Lowecat, what's your point? You're commenting, too!"

Yeah, I am. 'Cause in the long run, there are several people who have been - and continue to be - hurt by torrid little real life soap opera. Ms. Shriver, her children, the staffer and her child, even Arnold.

Not only do I feel sympathy for Ms. Shriver, but also for the child Arnold fathered. Arnold has been reported to have paid support for the child. Most sperm donors do. Has he shown the child love? Has he been present for parent - teacher conferences? Has he visited the child when he or she has been sick? Has he taken an active part in raising the child?

Or did he just write his name to a check and leave it at that, keeping the child in the background while bathing his and Ms. Shriver's children in the love and attention that was rightfully the staffer's child? What kind of life did that child have, seeing his or her father every day and knowing that the father kept the child a secret?

Naturally, this is speculation on my part. Maybe, somewhere in the wings, the child enjoyed Arnold's love and protection in private. Maybe Arnold was more to the child than sperm donor and financial provider.

I hope that to be the case. It doesn't excuse the fact that Arnold lied for decades to his wife and his children.

May the entire family find peace. And may we, the public, look at this with a little more sympathy than as fodder for the comedians.