Mewsings from Lowecat (aka Indianacat)

My rants, ravings, and overall 'mewsings' on life, the universe, and everything.

Friday, August 09, 2013

Sadly Makin' Decisions

The last couple of days have been emotionally difficult, not just because of the kerfluffle on my blog and about my SOA fanfic.  It's because of havin' to make decisions about what to do with Daddy's possessions.  This has been an ongoin' thing since he died last May, but this week, it cranked into a new gear.

This was the week that his study and the library were cleared.  We now have his desk, several bookcases, the barrister bookcase that is at least as old as I am, and a few other boxes of items.  And Daddy's recliner.  Maybe sittin' in it from time to time will give me a wee bit of comfort.  He slept a lot in that recliner. 

But there was a lot of ministerial things - books, study guides, bibles, hymnals - that I just don't have room to keep.  My brother, who now owns Daddy's house, doesn't have need of them, and wants the space clear to set up housekeepin'.  That's right and good.

It's painful to divvy up a person's life.  The study guides, conference journals, hymnals, Bibles, and the like found a new home with a new church in Washington.  Daddy's religious themed video tapes and DVDs also went there.  The church is starting up a library, so the items were welcomed by that minister. 

The nursing home where my step - mother now lives received three boxes of books of poetry (with pictures), a board game (for the more active residents), and several fiction books for their library.  Unfortunately, they couldn't use the vast quantities of six hour video tapes with movies on them.  These are not the type of videos one can resell to a place like Half Price Books or even donate to a library.  Not with three movies apiece on them!  Some I'm sure my big brother will watch when he has time. 

I took several boxes and bags of interestin' magazines, video tapes, and books to HPB (see above), includin' several first edition books.  I got $2 for the whole kiti and kaboodle.  No other place was willin' to even LOOK at the books, even the first editions.  At least they'll eventually find a good home. 

The last of Daddy's suits, ties, and other clothing will be donated to KY Mountain Mission, as that is a United Methodist based charity.  I've offered things to other family members, which they've accepted, but it's still difficult. 

So much, however, has had to go to recyclin', as in shreddin'.  Old bulletins, outdated study manuals, tax papers from decades ago.  It breaks my heart to do so, but it's got to be done.  I think he kept all the sermons and bulletins for record keepin' purposes.  There's a lot of history there, but it doesn't mean anything to anyone but myself.  I've already been in contact with the churches involved, and they have no storage page for same.  The directories he wrote and printed, yes.  The bulletins, no.

Some of his sermons, if I can get it figured out from his method of writin' sermons (which was an outline and not word for word), might make a good book, if sermons are still bein' printed in book form.  It's a project to look forward to, whether there's a market or not.  Maybe it'll come in handy for other ministers just startin' out.

It's ironic, as my step - mother often fussed about the amount of 'things' Daddy had, and how she hoped she'd never have to make decisions about it if he passed before her. 

After a year and a quarter, it's time to get these decisions past.  The house has a new life with my brother, and that's a good thing.  Is it bad that a part of me wishes it weren't necessary?

Wednesday, August 07, 2013

The BS Just Keeps on Flowin' Down the Pipe

It used to be exciting to get a notification from that a new review has been posted on my SOA (or any other) fanfic.  I've always invited constructive criticism and reviews of my blog and fanfic.  Even if someone didn't like a particular aspect, the reviewer always gave a valid reason why they didn't like it, like the OC's issues with her mother.  I certainly appreciated the reviewer's input and comments.  Any personal animosity they felt for me didn't come into the picture.

All that changed a few minutes ago.  Today, I received an email from that there was a new review.  I opened it to find the following.

"Story: Charming Pawse Book I
Chapter: 1. Chapter 1

From: Freaked out (Guest)

Freaked out:I've tried reading this series, and I just can't do it. You have
literally just written yourself into the SOA story and frankly, it's creepy.
Everyone does a little self insertion with original characters to some point,
but this? Wow! You don't even try to hide that you're making this Cat
character an avatar for yourself to live out your fantasies of getting with
Tig. Considering your presence in the SOA community it really gives me the
heebs that you're doing this. Especially since you gave a copy of the story to
Kim. Sorry, but I think that is way beyond wrong. This is some serious fan
girl weirdness that girls half your age wouldn't even consider doing."

Obviously this is someone in the not so social networkin' community takin' another pot shot at me.  Someone who has read the twitters and knows that I gave Mr. Coates a USB drive with all the 'Charming Pawse' chapters up to Jan, 2011.  That came out during a recent sand box q/a with him a couple of weeks ago. 

All readers write what they know.  Fanfiction was orginally considered Mary Sue - or Lt. Mary Sue from Star Trek TOS  - stories because the heroine was usually based on the writer and often told in first person.  I've always attempted to present another side to Tig that we don't see and delved into the things that the show didn't have time to deal with (LuAnn's funeral and Otto's attendance, what happened back at Charming when Hale was killed and Tig, Gemma, and Tara were in Oregon, how Tig got the cleaner's 80's music, etc). 

Perhaps this is another unwarranted, unwanted attack on me and my writing.   There have been attacks both on Twitter and elsewhere for certain posts I've made.  As for my standing in the SOA community, what standing?  Just because Mr. Sutter follows me and chose me as one of the first challenge winners doesn't make me any more important than any other fan in the world.  Lucky to have had the opportunity, sure.  But more imporant?  Hardly. 

Though it does make me wonder if the unknown writer is hitting closer to the truth.   Should I quit writing something that has given me (and hopefully others) joy for the last 5 years?  (more on that in a minute or two).

It's not the first time I've gotten a bad review.  Anyone who saw the write up in the blog called 'small towns small screens' that is on blogspot will know that there have been unkind reviews.  If you didn't read it, back in 2010, the blogger ripped into the first entry of my SOA fanfic, and a few people agreed with her in 2010 and later in  2012.  Yet, the blog readers didn't give anything more specific than that it was crap, but not why they felt it was crap.  At least the blog author, while rediculing the story, gave valid reasons for her redicule.  Did I take it a bit personally?  Yeah, I did.  Because that's my heart and soul in the work.  I spoke about it on a couple of comment boards, and on my FB page.  But I didn't ever respond to her on my blog.  Things would've degenerated into a cat fight (no pun intended), and I don't have the time or inclination for that kind of thing. 

The avatar was a pencil drawing that was made for me by a dear friend and fellow fanfic writer.  Yes, I asked her to make it for me.  It's been used as my FB and Twitter avi for years.  Mr. Coates even sighed a copy for the artist and myself!  Her fanfic story is also a 'Mary Sue', and went its' own way from the SOA story.  It's in my favorite stories/author lists, and I hope she continues the storyline (as well as her sci fi SOA story!).  It means as much to me as the pics of me with the various stars, or any other avis I've used.  If it has upset Mr. Coates, he's been kind enough not to say anything about it, and Gawd knows he's had ample opportunity!  In fact, I doubt he would've made that sign that one of the production staff took a year ago (and that a SOA comment board owner sent to me via the interwebz) if the avatar/illustration upset him.  

Perhaps, due to cicumstances that occurred earlier this week, my ego is a little tender right now.  The positive reviews have far outweighed the bad.  There have been good reviews received on, on the social nets, and on some of the SOA forums.  There have also been the scratches and gouges on the aforementioned blog, and now this review.

I'm sure this coward who signed themselves  'Freaked Out' would like it if I quit indulging my "fantasy of getting with Tig" and quit writing.   Frankly, I'm in the mood to flip him or her the bird and go on ahead with it, whether anyone else ever reads the rest of the stories from here on out or not.  To quit would let that fucktard win, and frankly, my dear, there are worse freaks than me out there.

So thanks for readin' this little epistle, and lettin' me get this off my chest.  It's just my way of respondin' to the purrson without shittin' all over