Mewsings from Lowecat (aka Indianacat)

My rants, ravings, and overall 'mewsings' on life, the universe, and everything.

Sunday, October 27, 2013

Another Disappointment in a Series of Disappointments




When Daddy had his third relaspe of cancer, he honored me with the request to write the memorial for him that would appear in the United Methodist Conference Journal the year of his death.  He gave me a copy of his information sheet for 'Who's Who in United Methodistism' as a guide, and I also had the copy of the script I'd read for his retirement flim strip in 1991 to refer to. 

In previous issues of the conference journal, there didn't appear to be any kind of format or word limit to adhere to.  Since Daddy's death didn't occur prior to the cut off date for recoginition at the 2012 conference, both the remembrance service and his memorial write up appeared in this year's conference.

I should've known that things were goin' to be rough in gettin' this done when the conference sent my step - brother the notification of the service and asked for a picture of Daddy from them.  John, my brother's wife, forwarded the paperwork to me, and I sent the requested material, along with a politely worded (for me!) letter expressing my disappointment.

So the conference fires back an email to me, including an attachment of my letter to them about contact info.  Accordin' to the conference, I toldl them to contact John about all further inquiries into Daddy.  The very letter they sent to remind me stated crystal clear that all inquiries pertaining to my step - mother's benefits through Daddy are to be addressed to John, while all inquiries pertaining to DADDY go to me.  "Hello, McFly!"

Of course, they expressed their most sincere apologies for any mix up in their email while not recognizing their own error in interpertation.  Still and all, I fought down my irritation, located the best picture of Daddy to send, and instead of fillin' out their information sheet for the memorial write up, sent the one Daddy had entrusted in me to write.

Well, the service of remembrance was OK, though they only posted 'Ivan Emily' with Daddy's picture, instead of 'I. Blaine Emily'.  It also appeared such on the program.  I put his name on the back of the picture as 'I. Blaine Emily', and he'd been listed in the conference as 'I. Blaine Emily' for his entire professional life, for cryin' out loud!  To this day, I do not understand why the conference did that.  A small slight, perhaps, but to me, a slight nonetheless.  Poor respect for 37 active and 10 retired years' service.

That little snub, along with all the frustrations of dealing with the conference last year, should have prepared me for this latest disappointment.  It didn't.  Before investin' the $30 for a copy of the 2013 Conference Journal for my library, I decided to see if it was available on line.  It is.  There was a link to the Memorial pages.  I clicked, and scrolled down to Daddy's name.  The picture was there.  His name was still 'Ivan Emily' (actually, it was 'Emily, Ivan). 

The memorial I wrote had been heavily edited.  Here's how it appears:




 
Emily, Ivan



Rev. Ivan Blaine Emily, 85, retired Elder of the Indiana Conference, passed away on May 4, 2012, at Select Specialty Hospital in Beech Grove, following a brief illness. Born February 11, 1927, he was the son of Ivan Cortez and Virginia F. (Hisey) Emily in Harrison County, Indiana. He answered the call to preach in 1948 and began attending Indiana University in 1949 and graduated in 1953. He entered Candler School of Theology at Emory University and graduated in 1955. Rev. Emily returned to Indiana to join the (then) Indiana Methodist Conference, where he was accepted as a probationary member (Deacon) in 1955. He was ordained as an Elder in 1957.
Rev. Emily was known for his wonderful sense of humor. Family and friends were often on the receiving end of his gentle teasing. He liked a good laugh at a funny story, especially if it was at the expense of someone else's dignity, but he was never malicious about it. He was a member of the Optimist Club in Evansville and Rockport He was a member of the IU Varsity Club. He assisted with the Spencer County Ministerial Society in establishing a released time religious education course. He wrote a curriculum for that course which he self - published. He was a fan of the Chicago Cubs and Bears, and IU basketball, while harboring a natural inclination to not root for Purdue.
Survivors include his wife, Rosemary Sheley Emily, whom he married in 1986; daughter, Myra Anne (Emily) Lowe, and her husband Robert; stepsons, John Blaine Sheley, and his wife Judy, and Daniel Lee Sheley; three step grandchildren; two step great-grandchildren.
A memorial service was held May 10, 2012, at Gill Chapel. Revs. Marvin Cheek and David Blystone officiated. Burial followed in Bethel South United Methodist Church Cemetery in Washington, Indiana.



Here is what I wrote and submitted:



Rev. Ivan Blaine Emily

by

Myra Anne Emily Lowe, his daughter.

Ivan Blaine Emily came from Hoosier farm stock. Ivan Cortez Emily owned a farm in Crandall, IN, near Corydon. Virginia F. Hisey Emily was a schoolteacher. They taught all of their children the value of education and a strong work ethic. He was born on 11 February, 1927, the eldest of three children.

He answered the 'call to preach' in 1948 and began attending Indiana University, Bloomington in 1949. He obtained his license to preach in 1951 and graduated with a Bachelor's Degree in History in Spring, 1953. He entered Candler School of Theology at Emory University in Georgia that fall. His first pastorate was at the Sugar Hill (GA) Methodist Church and he received his Bachelor's in Divinity degree from Candler in 1955.

Rev. Emily returned to Indiana to join the (then) Indiana Methodist Conference, where he was accepted as a probationary member (Deacon) in 1955. He was ordained as an Elder in 1957. His first assignment in Indiana was to the Jasonville Methodist Church.
 
He met the former Barbara Sharon Marsh there. She was the daughter of the church's organist. They married at that church 16 December, 1956. They divorced in 1982 and she survives. His parents preceded him in death, along with a stillborn brother, Lowell Arthur.

Rev. Emily served churches throughout Central and Southern Indiana during his tenure with the South Indiana United Methodist Conference: Jasonville, Bedford (Grace UMC), College Corner, Newbern, Petersville, Elizabethtown, Clarksville (Wesley Chapel Ohio Falls UMC), Monrovia, Belleville, Evansville (Central UMC), Patronville, Washington (Bethel UMC), Maysville, Carlisle, Ogilsville, and Princeton (Faith UMC). Though he retired from active ministry in 1992, he accepted a retired pastoral assignment to Decker UMC in Knox County. He served there several years until a recurrence of the prostate cancer he'd fought since 1981 made him too weak to continue serving. Decker UMC honored him with the title of Pastor Emeritus.

Rev. Emily also served on the Conference Board of Ordained Ministry. He was a member of the Optimist Club in Evansville and Rockport. He was a member of the IU Varsity Club. He assisted with the Spencer County Ministerial Society in establishing a released time religious education course. He wrote a curriculum for that course which he self - published. He was proficient with both mimeograph and offset stencil preparation and printing not only for the curriculum, but also for his churches' weekly bulletins and monthly newsletters.

Rev. Emily was known for his wonderful sense of humor. Family and friends were often on the receiving end of his gentle teasing. He liked a good laugh at a funny story, especially if it was at the expense of someone else's dignity, but he was never malicious about it. He would often tell the story about the foibles of his friends, such as Wallace Chappell. Many of his daughter's adventures provided fodder for the children's sermon.

He was a fan of the Chicago Cubs and Bears, and IU basketball, while harboring a natural inclination to not root for Purdue. He enjoyed comedic moments on television, such as car chases in 'Electric Horseman' and 'Smokey and the Bandit'. He liked the comedy of Tom Leher, and who hasn't heard Bill Cosby's 'Noah' routine at once in their life? He also enjoyed anything relating to history, including stories and movies of the Old West and World War II. John Wayne, Audie Murphy, and Randolph Scott were his favorite actors.

Most people who met my father liked him. I can't think of anyone that ever DISliked him. He had a way of being open and friendly with people, no matter their race, color, or creed. He had a way of making friends at each assignment, people who remained friends long after the Conference sent him on to a new assignment.

Rev. Emily loved the outdoors and working under God's sky with His earth to till and prepare the soil for planting He liked to mow the yard and plant flowers to brighten the yard. He had a love for sports, though he wasn't good at playing. However, that didn't stop him from playing pitch and catch with his decidedly tomboyish daughter.

As a minister, Rev. Emily felt it was important to lead by example. He never smoked cigarettes, drank alcohol, or chewed tobacco. He always researched his sermon topics, making sure his facts were correct and accurate no matter the subject. Accuracy was important to him. This is why he had a lot of books and subscribed to many magazines.

He was loyal to a fault. If he felt you were right, he'd back you 100% whether you were his wife, his child, his friend, or his co - worker and no matter what anyone else might tell him. He might not have always SAID that he cared, but his actions spoke volumes. 

As my father, he wasn't always my best friend. He said a resounding 'NO' when it was necessary, even when it would've been easier to let me have my own way. He wasn't afraid to administer discipline when it was warranted. Nor was he afraid to show his affection for his family. 
 
Another thing about him was that he was always optimistic. This served him well with the trails and tribulations of later life. His first diagnosis of prostrate cancer came in the early 80s, just before his divorce. He was treated with a radium implant in Evansville and enjoyed several years of remission before the cancer reared it's ugly head.

Those two instances in themselves might cause many humans to question - maybe even lose - their faith. Rev. Emily never once, to my knowledge, questioned God and His plan. He remained steadfast in his faith to the very end.

When the cancer returned in the 90s, after he had married Rosemary Sheley in 1985, he decided to seek care at MD Anderson Cancer Center in Houston TX. His oncologist told him, "Blaine, you WILL die eventually, but it won't be from cancer." He was right.

Daddy passed away on the afternoon of May 4, 2012 at the Select Specialty Hospital in Beech Grove, IN. He had been transferred there from Daviess County (IN) hospital March 29th for treatment of pneumonia. That cleared up, but he developed a staph infection that led to sepsis and kidney failure, which resulted in God calling him Home.

Survivors include his wife, Rosemary Sheley Emily; daughter Myra Anne (Emily) Lowe (Robert); step sons John Blaine Sheley (Judy) and Daniel Lee Sheley; sister Kathleen (Emily) Campbell; brother Norman Emily (Joyce); nieces Virginia Louise (Campbell) Cotner (Murrell), Debra (Emily) Emerson (Jim), Kathy (Emily) Fasbinder (Gus), and Lisa Kay Emily; nephews Dwight Emily (Cathy) and Jeffrey Emily (LuAnn); three step grandchildren, two step great - grandchildren, and many grand and great - grand nieces and nephews.

At the end of Star Trek II, the Wrath of Khan, after Spock's body has been sent to space, the Enterprise crew is solemnly gathered on the bridge. Dr. McCoy edges up to Kirk and states in a comforting manner, "He's not really gone, you know. As long as we remember."

The memorial service was held at Gill Mortuary, Washington, IN, 11 May, 2012. He is buried at the Bethel South UMC Cemetery in Washington, IN.



Yes, I know.  It's longer, but it's what he asked me to do.  Since the Conference wouldn't or couldn't do this, I'm puttin' it out here.  It's just one more disappointment in a series of disappointments where my father's profession is concerned.  Except for eventually getting his robe to DePauw University's Methodist Archives, where they've offered to put it on display, and a few more historical items relating to the church, my dealings with the conference are over.

It's put me in quite a theological quandry.  I have a belief in a higher power, because Daddy served that power for most of his life.  Daddy is one of those people you can truly say has gone on to a Heavenly reward.  Not even those so - called ministers on a certain televised 'reality show' about preachers and/or their daughters can say that!  I've been a United Methodist - albiet a lapsed one in the last couple of years - my entire life.  I feel very let down and disappointed by all this. 

Then I remember that religion is not God.  Religion is something that was developed by man as a way of honoring God.  Yet every religion wants to force its' version down everyone's throat as 'THE WAY' and if you don't follow their 'WAY' you are doomed to Hell.  Funny, last time I checked, the only entity able to determine whether someone goes to Heaven or Hell is God the Father.

There are also the highly visible religious speakers on the electronic media.  You know the ones I mean, not the ones who are truly trying to preach the word - admirable ones like Billy Graham, D James Kennedy, and others my father looked up to.  I'm talkin' about the ones who wear all kinds of gold and finery, drive big expensive cars, have big expensive houses, and Mega Churches.  Just watch an episode of 'LA Preachers', or some of the other television evangelists and you'll see what I mean.

No, when I look at this thing called creation, the Heaven and the Earth and the Universe around us, I'm reminded that there is no way this happened by chance.  Creation was a plan, and as Daddy once told a highly upset 2nd grader who'd been exposed to the Science of how the Earth was formed, "Yes, God created the Earth and everything around us in seven days, honey, but one of God's days can be as millions of years to us." 

(He also told me to apologize for goin' off on the teacher the next day, and took me to school to make sure I did so.  He also explained to the teacher why I'd been upset.)

So I'm not pleased with the United Methodist Conference.  I'm not pleased with 'Church'.  But I still believe in God.  God is all around us.  We are made in His image, accordin' to the Bible.  God made the world we live in.  I can still worship God whenever I ride in His Creation, seeing the birds in flight, the green grass, the blue sky, and feel the sun in my face and the wind in my hair. 

I can still worship Him by doin' the right thing to others.  By helpin' those who need it when I can.  By bein' a good friend and a good wife.  By supportin' causes that will honestly and truly work to make our world a better place. 

I've not become an atheist over this.  Nor am I agnostic.  I'm just not religious.  At least not to the affect that I will be attaching myself to any particular denomination, or tithing to any particular church.  My name is still on the membership rolls of a local United Methodist Church, and I'll probably do the Christmas and Easter appearances.  At least until or unless I find a different church to call Home.

I'm sorry, Daddy, that this last thing you asked me to do for you didn't turn out as we expected.